Damn Pocket Monster shit

Damn TV sucks.


Are you going?



So you think?




Damn titties.


So what if you are crazy?




I seem to only be able to draw the damn pkmn shit what the hell.

Revelation

You know.

I shouldn't worry about the future, the future's not even guaranteed.

I should just live right here, right now.

Like Sammy Hagar said.

I'm starting to get my drawing mojo back, I found a solution for two characters I made (PkMn) Amber & Copal, non-conjoined siamese twins, see, I liked their baby forms, it looked right, but when they evolved I had a hard time deciding how it would work, for a while I thought Copal just becoming Amber's ass is the only logical thing, but... THAT'S THE SADDEST THING EVER. I also thought maybe if Amber has really small legs, and Copal had small upperbody to where they need each other, but I didn't like that either. So it kinda hit me last night, I basicly made Copal able to become your pants basically. So AJ & Copal can merge together and basically kick your ass HARD. Though they can function seperately. SO YAY. Might scan and upload here pics once I've totally decided how I want them to look individually and together.

THOUGH I haven't really worked on the comic that introduces them at all. I haven't been real inspired to do anything serious for the longest time, at times I try drawing some of the characters in MIFaTL, but meh.

I'm kinda thinking of Giving Amber her own comic, as I kinda would like to make a new comic.

Though no ideas really.

I figure I oughta do something as like, I got two domain names.

Though, honestly my computer is fucking dead which means that I just can't work on the website at all.

I'm currently living with my grandparents until I can get a steady job that won't drive me insane. I roughly owe 12 grand to miscellaneous places so my credit report probably sucks which means it'll be damn hard to find a place or a job. Guess it's what I get for going to college and opening accounts in my name for my mom and little bro =/

I kinda wish that all this shit would resolve itself, but really I have nowhere to go.

if 12 million dollars just fell in my lap, I wouldn't know what to do with it really.

Well, besides pay my debt, and maybe get my car restored.

There's nowhere I want to live, there's nowhere I want to go, there's nothing in my life that really means anything.

Honestly I really feel that if I died right now, the only real concern is how to dispose of the body.

I've felt so sad for the last 12 years or so. I don't even know how long or what.

Agh.

Though I figure pretty much everyone else is miserable, my only question is how the hell do they keep going on when there's nothing to go on for?

I also wonder why making money is so repulsive to me, I mean even when it's doign artwork commissions, I just don't want to do it.

Every job I've ever had I liked, but I just hated having a job.

I always think that finding that girl from the dream would set my life right, dunno why, just felt it. Though now I feel nothing, like I'm too late. Life really feels like a bad future. I mean David Lee Roth doing a bluesgrass "jump"?! WHAT THE HELL!!

Maybe if I just hold on a little longer thing's'll pick up.



That's really my only hope.

DESTINATIOOOUNKNOWN

RUBY RUBY RUBY RUBY RUBY SOHO

Am I the only person who can't keep a job solely for the purpose of having money?

Quirrblle

I bought these headphones on eBay for 40 bucks including shipping.

Should be here between 13th and 16th

My old ones keep acting funny.

Like the right side fades in and out when I walk.

I'm borke now.

LOL

borke

alllllllllllllllllllllllllll

I saw El Dorado last night.

at midnight on channel 2

or 7

depends if you have cable or not

and live in the Austin area.

I find it funny to see commercails for losers to call what they would think to be hot chicks during an animated movie.

I also find it funny how the older ones had kinda realistic hot and now they got professional hot.

So you know they're making fucking money.

WHY

I can't seem to draw anymore, or do anything.

Ever since I saw that girl at HEB it kinda broke my brain.

I have no idea why.

Why is it when I totally forget about her I see her?

Am I going insane? WHAT

Y'know it really feels like no one cares about me anymore. I guess it's because I'm a broke, uninspired, lazy, depressed, confused bastard.

I wonder why I get on the internet anymore, I mean honestly who misses me?
Nobody, that's who.

I used to want to do all sorts of things, but now I really don't care anymore.

It just feels like it's too late, all that's left is to die in failure.

Which is why I've been looking for something new to do, but everything's just... pointless.

Sometimes I just wish someone would hold me and tell me everything's gonna be alright.

Hmm I wanna watch Billy Madison.

At least I still have a sense of humor, it's just more like asshole humor now.

I still wonder why I feel compelled to talk to something.

Blob

Why do I post things on here? No one reads it.







AGH I WISH I WUZ DEADS

Days go by

I really don't know what to do anymore.

Anything I think of just seems like a bad idea.

Maybe I am a spoiled brat who refuses to comply with the way of man, but I've been taught, raised, to beleive in God and follow my heart.

Everytime I get a job, I get extremely depressed and have a mental breakdown.

Maybe I'm so lazy that having responcibility just snaps my mind.

Cuz working never bothered me, just when you have to do it forever.

Never ending, like that greek dude who pushed the rock up a hill only to fall over.

John Wayne.

Anyways...


I think the only person in my family who isn't trying to push me over the edge is my little brother.

I was gonna buy a hat, but fuck that.

this pizza's overcooked...

I can't remember the last time I tried to draw... I think it was the last time I posted art here.

I hate my life so fucking much.

I have no idea what to do about it anymore, it just seems that everything I've done just wasn't worth it. Maybe it's because I have no friends IRL, maybe it's because I've spent the last half of my life trying to find some chick I met in a dream that turned out to be my oldest friend I haven't seen in a decade which would have made sense psychologically if I hadn't seen her physically and had no idea what she looked like so WHAT?!

Ugh

I din'no why I keep writing on this blog, maybe I just need to talk to someone, even if they don't exist.

No one that exists really cares about me anyways.

Or maybe I just don't want to hear the answer because I don't like it.

Probably because the answer is that there's nothing wonderful about life, now either serve society or GTFO

......


Aunno.

I want to get away from here, but honestly where would I go?




I think I need to just give up on life, I've been holding on all these years, and I just don't think it's ever gonna get better; I don't think I'LL ever get better.

I've been looking for a sign from God, something to just hit me, to actually find something to do with my life, but all I get is constant whining for me to get a job. Well, I don't want to work, I just want to bang on my drum all day.

I think tomorrow when I get paid I'm just gonna drive off somewhere and don't look back.

There's nothing in this God-forsaken town.

Just surly relatives, and jerks.




I think I just want to be loved.


Or maybe something more selfish.

Debt

I think I owe various things about 12,000$

maybe more, might have forgotten what I owe.

*sigh*

I hate my life.

I don't want a job.

I don't want anything I have.