Days go by

I really don't know what to do anymore.

Anything I think of just seems like a bad idea.

Maybe I am a spoiled brat who refuses to comply with the way of man, but I've been taught, raised, to beleive in God and follow my heart.

Everytime I get a job, I get extremely depressed and have a mental breakdown.

Maybe I'm so lazy that having responcibility just snaps my mind.

Cuz working never bothered me, just when you have to do it forever.

Never ending, like that greek dude who pushed the rock up a hill only to fall over.

John Wayne.

Anyways...


I think the only person in my family who isn't trying to push me over the edge is my little brother.

I was gonna buy a hat, but fuck that.

this pizza's overcooked...

I can't remember the last time I tried to draw... I think it was the last time I posted art here.

I hate my life so fucking much.

I have no idea what to do about it anymore, it just seems that everything I've done just wasn't worth it. Maybe it's because I have no friends IRL, maybe it's because I've spent the last half of my life trying to find some chick I met in a dream that turned out to be my oldest friend I haven't seen in a decade which would have made sense psychologically if I hadn't seen her physically and had no idea what she looked like so WHAT?!

Ugh

I din'no why I keep writing on this blog, maybe I just need to talk to someone, even if they don't exist.

No one that exists really cares about me anyways.

Or maybe I just don't want to hear the answer because I don't like it.

Probably because the answer is that there's nothing wonderful about life, now either serve society or GTFO

......


Aunno.

I want to get away from here, but honestly where would I go?




I think I need to just give up on life, I've been holding on all these years, and I just don't think it's ever gonna get better; I don't think I'LL ever get better.

I've been looking for a sign from God, something to just hit me, to actually find something to do with my life, but all I get is constant whining for me to get a job. Well, I don't want to work, I just want to bang on my drum all day.

I think tomorrow when I get paid I'm just gonna drive off somewhere and don't look back.

There's nothing in this God-forsaken town.

Just surly relatives, and jerks.




I think I just want to be loved.


Or maybe something more selfish.