Revelation

You know.

I shouldn't worry about the future, the future's not even guaranteed.

I should just live right here, right now.

Like Sammy Hagar said.

I'm starting to get my drawing mojo back, I found a solution for two characters I made (PkMn) Amber & Copal, non-conjoined siamese twins, see, I liked their baby forms, it looked right, but when they evolved I had a hard time deciding how it would work, for a while I thought Copal just becoming Amber's ass is the only logical thing, but... THAT'S THE SADDEST THING EVER. I also thought maybe if Amber has really small legs, and Copal had small upperbody to where they need each other, but I didn't like that either. So it kinda hit me last night, I basicly made Copal able to become your pants basically. So AJ & Copal can merge together and basically kick your ass HARD. Though they can function seperately. SO YAY. Might scan and upload here pics once I've totally decided how I want them to look individually and together.

THOUGH I haven't really worked on the comic that introduces them at all. I haven't been real inspired to do anything serious for the longest time, at times I try drawing some of the characters in MIFaTL, but meh.

I'm kinda thinking of Giving Amber her own comic, as I kinda would like to make a new comic.

Though no ideas really.

I figure I oughta do something as like, I got two domain names.

Though, honestly my computer is fucking dead which means that I just can't work on the website at all.

I'm currently living with my grandparents until I can get a steady job that won't drive me insane. I roughly owe 12 grand to miscellaneous places so my credit report probably sucks which means it'll be damn hard to find a place or a job. Guess it's what I get for going to college and opening accounts in my name for my mom and little bro =/

I kinda wish that all this shit would resolve itself, but really I have nowhere to go.

if 12 million dollars just fell in my lap, I wouldn't know what to do with it really.

Well, besides pay my debt, and maybe get my car restored.

There's nowhere I want to live, there's nowhere I want to go, there's nothing in my life that really means anything.

Honestly I really feel that if I died right now, the only real concern is how to dispose of the body.

I've felt so sad for the last 12 years or so. I don't even know how long or what.

Agh.

Though I figure pretty much everyone else is miserable, my only question is how the hell do they keep going on when there's nothing to go on for?

I also wonder why making money is so repulsive to me, I mean even when it's doign artwork commissions, I just don't want to do it.

Every job I've ever had I liked, but I just hated having a job.

I always think that finding that girl from the dream would set my life right, dunno why, just felt it. Though now I feel nothing, like I'm too late. Life really feels like a bad future. I mean David Lee Roth doing a bluesgrass "jump"?! WHAT THE HELL!!

Maybe if I just hold on a little longer thing's'll pick up.



That's really my only hope.